


Beneath the Waves

by Tousled_Sky



Series: Atlantis [2]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Angst, As well as Japan, Disapperance, Gen, Izaya's staying out of Ikebukero, M/M, Permanent Injury, Pining (kinda), The Shizaya is implied and one-sided
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 07:28:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9711074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tousled_Sky/pseuds/Tousled_Sky
Summary: "Sometimes he thinks of the people he's left behind, envisions speaking with them. Sometimes these conversations in his head are happy, sometimes they're painful. But they're never with Shizuo. He can imagine seeing the blond, meeting him again - but not talking." Remembrances of a past life from a fallen god.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is sort of a spin-off of a series of fanfictions I've been writing on and off for probably a year now. Hopefully I'll finish the plot enough to be able to post them fairly soon. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy reading this mess I've made of Izaya's life.  
> This is in the same universe as More a Monster.  
> The title is a reference to Faded by Alan Walker - "Where are you now? Atlantis, under the sea, under the sea". (Sky: It used to be called Atlantis, but Beneath the Waves is akin to Faded as well; like the verse under the sea). Faded is a great song and pretty much perfectly fits the theme of Izaya's disappearance from Japan in this series (it's a overplayed song on my writing playlist, honestly - I love it).  
> I hope you enjoy this gay angst, loves~

He wonders how Ikebukero is, sometimes.

It's always frozen in time in his mind, like a photograph, but in reality, it's probably much different. Ikebukero is a living, breathing city - it's always moving, always changing. The people in it grow with it, make it grow. The people that he used to know.

He wonders if they remember him. The great masses of humans that he loved, probably not so much. His closer acquaintances, probably more so. He's sure Namie remembers him, and his sisters. Maybe they even miss him, from time to time. Shinra and Celty have probably noticed that he's no longer with them, though he's sure they can't be bothered to care. His mother might not even know, might never know.

Then there's the matter of Shizuo.

His enemy, his bane, his monster. The only one he can't fathom talking to again. Sometimes he thinks of the people he's left behind, envisions speaking with them. People like Namie or Kadota or Shinra. Sometimes these conversations in his head are happy, sometimes they're painful. But they're never with Shizuo. He can imagine seeing the blond, meeting him again - but not talking.

He's not sure why he can't imagine speaking with Shizuo. Maybe it's because back then - back when he was Izaya - he and Shizuo never really talked. Threatened and taunted, yes. Conversed, no. Or maybe it's because of the way he startles whenever he sees a blond in the streets he walks now, because of his lingering terror of Shizuo that's justified and immortalized in the mosaic of scars on his arms.

Mostly, he thinks it's because he and Shizuo were never compatible. Not as friends, not as lovers, not as anything but what they were - enemies. Shizuo was so distant from Izaya that it was almost as if Izaya idolized him - not as a god, but a monster. He was something extreme and strong, a pure form, dark and unbeatable. Izaya could never hope to conquer such a being, to be able to find humanity within it.

But gods are supposed to be invincible as well. And yet here he sits, fallen so far from the skies of Ikebukero to the streets of his new life. And while he doesn't particularly dislike the days he lives now (besides the pain in his arms that the medicine dulls but never quells), the point still stands that he's no longer a god amongst humans - rather, he's joined the ranks of the masses as just an ordinary person. That was supposed to be impossible, but it happened.

Likewise, it was supposed to be impossible for Izaya and Shizuo to get along. And maybe he and Shizuo never would have been able to work. But he could have at least _tried_ , goddammit. What's the worst that could have happened? Shizuo trying to kill him? Maybe even succeeding this time?

From the spikes of fire in his arms some nights - the ones that pull him from sleep at the same time they darken the edges of his vision - he sometimes thinks it would have been better if Shizuo had succeed in killing him.

Yes, he could have tried. Who knows? Maybe they would have ended up as something new. Maybe even something good. Something where Shizuo wasn't a dark monster who was so, so far from the young god Izaya. Maybe they could have just been Shizuo and Izaya - two humans, two friends.

But they aren't. Shizuo is still in Ikebukero, Izaya is legally dead, and this new being - built of pain and scars and regret and sometimes, even hope, walks these streets; half the world away from the skies of Tokyo.

And what he and Shizuo could have been died along with Izaya Orihara that night in Japan.


End file.
